The Best Doctor Visit: Zoomcare

January 7th, 2010

I have had a cold for a few days, and when this morning I woke up with two painful ears, my worry that I might have an ear infection caused me to abandon my long-standing practice of waiting colds out with over-the-counter medications and seek out a doctor.

I called my “regular” doctor, waited on hold for 20 minutes, explained my predicament, and was told that I could be seen tomorrow afternoon.

I was explaining this frustrating delay to my girlfriend when she suggested I call Zoomcare, a relatively new urgent-care style doctor shop in Portland. I went on their website and made myself an appointment this afternoon (although I should note that I could have scheduled myself for a visit as soon as 30 minutes later).

I provided my name, insurance information, email address, and a brief description of my symptoms. Zoomcare followed up five minutes later with an e-mailed confirmation of my appointment, complete with driving directions to their location.

My appointment was at 3:00, but I arrived at 2:45, expecting to be handed the customary clipboard with loads of redundant forms to fill out by hand. Instead, the receptionist smiled, asked me for my ID, and asked me to take a seat while I waited for the doctor.

About two minutes later, the Doc came out and ushered me into an exam room. She interviewed me and checked me out. There were no handwritten records anywhere — she typed everything about the visit onto a laptop, which was hooked up to an external monitor so I could review her notes on the fly. I ended up with a diagnosis of a slight ear infection.

No more than ten minutes later, I was checking out with the receptionist, antibiotic prescription in hand, and walking out the door. With the prescription came some automatically printed helpful directions for its use for me to take with me.  Those directions also included a link to an online video about my ear infection if I wanted to learn more.

Total visit time: about 10 minutes.  I was literally back in my car driving home before 3:00, when my appointment was scheduled to begin.

I can’t help but marvel at how well Zoomcare has improved the process of the doctor visit, relative to every other doctor’s office I have been to.  No clipboards, no forms, no waiting, no shuffling between nurses and doctors, no time even to read two-month-old magazines in the exam room! I was thoroughly impressed.

Is Zoomcare the future of health care? If you’ll permit me to editorialize for a moment, I certainly hope so. It was, after all, private capitalists who thought this up and delivered it. One can only hope there remains room for them in our country’s future health care system.

What Tiger Woods Can Teach Us About Hedge Fund Risk

December 16th, 2009

“I like See’s candy. Put me in a See’s store, I’m eating candy. The whole world is Tiger’s See’s store, and the candy is vagina.”
– From the “Shit my Dad Says” Twitter account

We have all known for a long time that Tiger Woods shares many signature characteristics with hedge fund managers.  He is good looking, and he has an exceptionally good looking wife.  He’s really rich.  He excels at a snobby sport.  He has a big yacht.

But one similarity to a typical hedge fund manager that we might not have appreciated until recently is the nature of each’s portfolio risk.

For years, Tiger Woods carried along, nurturing his squeaky-clean public image while cavorting with a portfolio what are reported to be dozens of floozies in secret.  From the outside, this arrangement was a very low-risk one — so low-risk, in fact, that his corporate sponsors were willing to pay him a reported $90 million a year in sponsorship deals because his track record as an investment had such low volatility.  We might say that Tiger Woods’s investment strategy was to pursue monetary return and personal return with this dual lifestyle.

It probably occurred to Tiger that each of these dozens of dalliances introduced an isolated risk to his career and marriage.  If one of them were discovered, it would be a problem, but it probably wouldn’t spell disaster for him.  After all, they were uncorrelated risks, right?  Presumably, none of the floozies knew of one another’s existence, and each had just as much to lose as him if those relationships became public.

All it took was a single, seemingly innocuous event for all of these seemingly uncorrelated risks to suddenly become highly correlated (in the investment world, an adage holds that “the only thing that rises in a market crisis is correlations”).  A single text message, apparently, set of a cascade of revelations that threaten to ruin Tiger’s career, not to mention his marriage.

Hedge fund investors should heed this lesson.  Simple evaluation of a historical return series can’t hope to capture the embedded risks in a portfolio management strategy.  Many risks lurk in a seemingly stable portfolio.  And all it takes is a seemingly remote event to blow up an entire strategy.

Might we surmise that Tiger Woods, in late 2009,  is the last victim of the 2008 credit crisis?  If not literally so, the broad principle applies.

But all is not lost for Tiger.   He may still have a future as a hedge fund manager.  Heck, it worked for John Meriwether.

An Ode to REITs

November 2nd, 2009

Sing to the tune of 50 Cent’s classic, “P.I.M.P.”

I don’t know what you heard about me
and real estate investing ain’t cheap
but I won’t charge you two and twenty
I’m a plain-vanilla REIT

I don’t know what you heard about me
but if you care at all about liquidity
don’t lock up your money at Wall Street
just get a plain-vanilla REIT

This going out to every CIO that hates
better pay attention to those cap rates
because when that bubble deflates
you just might be that goat that skapes.

Password Changes in Windows/Exchange Environment with iPhone

October 28th, 2008

If you use an iPhone at work, within an environment that includes Microsoft Windows and Exchange, you may have run into an issue when changing your Windows or Exchange password.  If your network administrator forces you to change your login password every so often, and has the network set up to lock you out after several failed password attempts, then you need to perform a slightly non-intuitive routine in order to change your password.

The issue is that if you have an iphone, and it is using “push” to retrieve mail, calendar, or contacts from the Exchange server, it is constantly pinging the server with the password it has stored.  So, if you change your password on your computer, the iPhone will then issue a bunch of requests to the server with a password that is no longer valid.  As a result, unless you follow the following procedures, your iphone trying to connect with the old password will lock you out of your system.

So, if you are having this problem, follow the following steps each time you need to change your Windows/Exchange password:

  1. Turn on Airplane mode on the iPhone.
  2. Change your Windows/Exchange Password.
  3. Change your iPhone password to match.
  4. Turn off Airplane mode on the iPhone.

That should do it.

Ten Ways This Decade Resembles the Seventies

August 12th, 2008

1. Sans-serif fonts that will seem horribly dated in retrospect

2. Unpopular war

3. Runaway inflation

4. Bell-bottom pants (today, they are called “boot cut”)

5. General mistrust of politicians, especially the President

6. Dance competitions

7. Fondue

8. “Modern” Decorative Style

9. Climate Change Concerns

10. The color brown

Investment Newsletters I Never Miss

August 4th, 2008

In my opinion, these investment practitioners write the best periodic (monthly or quarterly) commentary on the markets.  I try not to miss their commentaries.

Another Example of Poor Design by U.S. Airways

June 26th, 2008

I took a flight on U.S. Airways yesterday, from Phoenix to Portland.  When we departed, it was 112 degrees Farenheit in Phoenix, so of course, sitting in one of the most decrepit of the fleet, we were in one of the many U.S. Airways planes without the little air conditioning vents.  At the mercy of our crew, we sweltered as we awaited takeoff.

But the temperature of the plane is not why I write today.  I write today about the snack boxes for which U.S. Airways has the audacity to charge $5.

Whoever designed these snackboxes has evidently never been hungry enough to contemplate buying one.

Because of a work commitment and a tight squeeze between meeting time and flight time, I had to skip lunch.  It was with eager anticipation that I traded the rude flight attendant my $5 for one of the snackboxes she carried down the aisle.  Like a kid on Christmas, I opened it to find the following contents:

  • Two crackers
  • Grape jelly
  • Peanut butter
  • A piece of cheese
  • A can of chicken salad
  • A fruit roll up
  • Two cookies
  • A napkin and plastic knife

I ate the cookies and the fruit roll up.  Then my dilemma began.  Where to spend my crackers?  Do I make a little peanut butter and jelly sandwich?  Do I use them to scoop the chicken salad?  I settled to eat one and a half of them with the cheese, judiciously reserving the remaining half cracker for a couple bites of peanut butter.

Now, I was left with some grape jelly and some chicken salad.  What am I supposed to do with those?

This is about when it hit me that I really was expecting too much of U.S. Airways.  Who in their right mind would include in a snackbox no fewer than FOUR items that need crackers to make them edible (jelly, peanut butter, chicken salad, and cheese), and only TWO crackers for all of them?  And who would choose to make those four items, for the most part, mutually exclusive?  I wasn’t about to have chicken salad and jelly on a cracker.

I solved my dilemma by leaving the jelly and most of the peanut butter in the box, untouched.  I decided to bring the can of chicken salad home for my cat.

When I got home, my cat was eager to see me, since I had been gone for the night.  And I was eager to give him his special treat of chicken salad.  He followed me around ardently as I got a plate and emptied the chicken salad onto it.  Then, he walked up to it, sniffed it, and walked away.

Did you hear that, U.S. Airways?  Even my CAT won’t eat your food!